And now you have to make such decisions which you didn't have to actually if you had remembered better what you had to do, where to go!

Now that things are confirmed, you say you want to back out!?

Both are important events and its not possible to miss either...

I DONT WANT THAT DAY TO COME!

Argh!!

I don't want to make that decision!

Maybe I should just stay in my room! Or go home.

And just escape!

Or just disappear!

Then no one would question me.

Hall life is probably not for me. I don't have that much courage to give up the other passion - choir for hall. Xuan and Siao Er are just so able to give up their other events that are so close to them for the sake of hall, but I just can't. I guess that's where the priorities come in. Siao Er is so able to give up an important match but it I am not able to give up an important competition! Isn't it the same?! it's a competition!! I just don't understand why am I made to think so much. 

I haven't gone for a lot of hall and block activities coz of choir and I know that myself. I get criticized each time. It just so happens that it clashes!! And it's just so biased! People in the sports area get excused coz they have to go for training and people don't talk much about it and don't give a second thought like that person is not here etc...but when i go for my own training, i just feel that people don't understand. The difference between sports and culture...sigh...

I just made a decision. Why am I still thinking about it...

CONFUSED!

NO ONE CAN HELP ME THIS TIME...

It's just me...

~dying~