SERIOUSLY, LIKE WHY SHOULD I CONTINUE CARING??

It's been so long already and yet, it's not going anywhere!

Not that I am hoping for anything today. But yet, I have been holding on for so, so, so long. It's my own wishful thinking I know but yet, I keep hurting myself time again and again.

Why is it that so many have found their one to spend Valentines' Day with? No, no... I did not look forward to anyone special to spend it with. But maybe just at least show a bit more concern??

But that wouldn't happen unless someone knocks some sense into this person! And will anyone do? No...Not that I think it would be for me.

All I ask for was a small little favour! That was to just talk to me. But I guess we really have nothing else to talk about. And guess that explains why I keep hurting myself.

Many have talked a lot of sense into me which I didn't heed and was bent on keeping this feeling, hoping that he feels the same about me and that one day it would all pay off. It's all stupidity in my words. And what's the point of sacrificing so much time and effort on him when he doesn't reciprocate it?

Don't be stupid girl, he's not worth your time. He's not worth your energy! He's not worth the love.

Like why don't you use this time and effort in your studies? It's not as if you are very free! And yet, you want to take on so many committments! Is this how you treat yourself? Staying out so late and coming back to bathe like in the wee hours of the morning? And sleeping so few hours? IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!

And who knows when he actually likes someone else and you know the girl is definitely not you. Are you going to continue holding on to this thin thread when you know it will snap anytime? I will snap even before anyone tugs it.

Seriously, it's not going anywhere.

Give it up. Don't make your life anymore miserable. Forget it.

Prayed about it and I guess the Father's answer is wait or NO. And I shall slowly make this thought and liking vanish.

I believe that every person would have his own partner and it would come anytime. Just be patient. Even if there isn't, there are friends :)

And I thank Lixuan and Siao Er for making my hall life so lovely :) Thanks for making the heart bookmark dearies! And thanks to Stamford for the lovely Red Rose! And to Yiwen for the sweet Pink Rose :) And to Ann for the pretty pouch :) And to Sara for the raisins :)

Thanks to Sara, Huifang and Yan Ling for making school days so enjoyable :) And for making my Vdae so interesting :)

I am frustrated, depressed and disappointed. But it shan't be for long. I guess I should stop thinking too much. And you know you are in a different world/league from him, so stop trying to get an answer.

I really wished I had someone to talk to just now. And you just had to leave me alone...




It's 3 days to the concert and yet, I don't feel as though it's approaching. Or rather, it's so hap-hazard. It's like, I don't know what's going on kinda feeling. Maybe I don't want it to come. Maybe I don't want the concert to end. Maybe I don't want to move on? Maybe I still want to be singing with the seniors? I have no idea what the future holds for me but I do wish that I didn't have to go through so much.

Am I ready for another chapter of my life?

Am I ready to serve the Choir?

Am I ready to be more than what I used to be?

Am I ready to leave this emotional being?

I guess I have been too disappointed and hurt to cry anymore. I didn't shed a single tear today. I guess it's not worth it.


It's 4am and I am contemplating to wake up at 9 and going for the 10am lecture.



I was planning to be a good girl and go back to hall once choir ended. But yet, I stayed at CFA till 230am. We ended choir at 9pm and collected money all the way till 10pm. And then I was surrounded by the comm and they had their meeting AROUND me! I felt really awkward! But I was already seated there settling the ticket money etc. I simply think too much. Anyway, Xian, Aaron, Huixian and I stayed back to settle the ticketing stuff. And am I amazed that I actually have so much energy to have stayed till 2+am trying to account for all the tickets!

I really admire Aaron! He is a very responsible President! Unlike someone else last time who left me to just think of everything and just open his mouth now and then to show he "cares". But seriously, it's a bigger problem now as compared to last time.

Without them, I guess, it wouldn't have gone through so well :) I am glad at least things are looking great, besides some other discrepancies....

To xian~ I know you read this, I hope you don't jump to the wrong conclusions :) I thank you for all your guidance and hope you would continue to stay strong!! We have 3 more days (+) of ticketing work to do and we are done!! It's been tough! But you have done great! Thanks loads girl :)

Thanks to Huixian and Aaron too :)

Btw, I still have one more ticket on hand. Anyone wants it? If not, I would give it away...

~PiNkDeLiGhTs~ Hurt through and through.