It's been a long while...
And I seem to be losing that spark, fire and passion that I once had. I guess it's just tiredness. There's just not enough time and energy for me to expand on to finish all that I want to do. It's really sad to be having so many things on hand that you really want to complete but yet due to the limited amount of time that you have, you just have to give so many things up.
Maybe I have taken on one too many a role during this time and it's really draining. I spent the whole of yesterday just trying to finish hall and choir stuff. It's fun but tiring. The job of marketing is much more than what I am doing now, so I guess it's a start.
And having to handle PR stuff aint easy where you have to tolerate and then go along with what the majority thinks. I am too tired to stand up for what I want and just give in to the others.
I am losing the enthusiasm I once had and felt the beginning of this year where the youths of the Church came together. And I admit this. Out of all the youth meetings we had, I only went for one. And now that Willy has pushed back the lesson to May, I do hope I can go. I have been slacking on my bible studies and not even going for Wed night classes. Last sun i missed the sermon coz of Amplitude and spent the whole Sun afternoon, night with NUSChoir.
Father in Heaven, I beg and pray for mercy and strength, the courage and wisdom to move on in life and to balance the time and my studies. I do hope to let some things go now but I guess it's just too much to do so.
Committment levels are taking a toll on me and I really don't know what to do. Don't tell me to prioritize coz everything is important and the deadlines are so close to one another. And if I don't do, I am considered a slacker. My nature is such that I don't wish to reject anyone. But it has come to a point where I am rejecting so many meeting opportunities just to get some breathing time to my own.
This can't go on. This has to stop somewhere, some time.
And I know my health hasn't been good with the sudden attack of flu and pimple outbreak. And the frequent sudden shut of eyelids, where even 2 minutes of eyeshut is good.
I love what I am doing. I appreciate the opportunities given to me. But I aint smart enough to handle things fast and well.
I regret.
But I will survive.
~PinKdeLiGhTs~ where have my friends gone...
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